Briefly, first birth, determined for a natural one, I remember getting to the hospital and being devastated that I was only 4cm dilated, but particularly being told that baby was in 'a very bad position' i.e. back to back. I ended up having every drug available and my daughter was eventually born with a ventouse and episiotomy. I remember feeling like a total failure that I'd not been able to manage drug free.
Second time I was a lot easier on myself. I used Gowri Mothas's book and taped all the Birth rehearsals. I booked myself in to a birthing centre - but this time I told myself if things went wrong, they went wrong - and that was okay. On the day I arrived fully dilated but a contraction came before the baby's position could be determined. So I laboured in the pool with gas an air and it was only at delivery did we realise my son was also was back to back. If I'd known before - and definitely if I'd been told that he was in a 'bad position' like last time - I'm certain I would have found labour harder. Words and language have a very powerful effect.