I was very lucky as I've had 2 lovely, straightforward home births. I think it's partly down to luck, but perhaps also confidence. I was very sure that I wanted to feel in control, which to me meant being in my own space, doing things my own way. I did read up on hypnobirthing, which I think is great for de-medicalising birth & reminding us that birth is not an illness but a natural occurrence.
I know home births don't suit everyone but I do think that more people should feel supported to be at home. You are in familiar surroundings & you have midwives there with you for the duration, plus whoever else you want (for me, that included my dog)! My husband was against a home birth at first, but when he looked at the stats on safety & understood my reasoning for wanting to feel in control (rather than under a hospital's), he came around. I had both children in water surrounded by my husband, mum, dog & the midwives. The 2nd time my dad & son came home in time to see me in the pool with my daughter just born & still attached. Such a wonderful memory. I feel very lucky to have had these experiences, & I know not everyone gets that opportunity. Being confident in your ability can go a long way, but of course things can happen that are outside your control. I do wish that midwives wouldn't tell you to push (& actually most of mine were really good) as I think this can cause more pain & tearing. It would be better if they encouraged you to breathe through the contractions, & help the baby along that way. Birth can be beautiful too (although that doesn't mean it isn't painful)!