An Unplanned Home Birth

Bethany Candela

I had my daughter last August 2017 and this time last year I would of been getting ready to bring her in to the world, but unfortunately what I knew then to what I know now I would have done it all differently. I gave birth to my daughter at home unexpectedly with my mum nearly having to deliver her nearly waiting an hour for the ambulance.

I started getting light contractions on the Monday morning and my back waters where leaking, it was manageable till I felt I had to ring the maternity ward and make them aware what was happening, I was told to come in wearing a pad so they could check, me my husband and my mum went too the hospital, this was around late morning, waited half an hour to see a midwife, had my temperature checked and the baby’s heart beat but wasn’t checked how far I was dilated, by this point my contractions were coming more frequent, waited around again for the midwife but was told to go home as there wasn’t much they could do.

We drove back home and this was after lunch time, I remember my mum timing my contractions and they were starting to get stronger I remember feeling zoned out and trying to concentrate, by afternoon I remember trying to relax and breath but I was getting uncomfortable, by this point I could only remember thinking how am I going to get through this, we phoned the maternity ward up telling them my contractions where painful I was told to stay at home as they didn’t sound like they were frequent, I remember then lying on my birth ball rocking which did help relax through each contraction, the next thing I know I said to my mum I feel like I need to push, I have to push, my mum then said to my husband get the bags ready, we phoned the maternity ward the second time saying I felt like I needed too push, I was asked again how far my contractions where, I was angry upset, scared and in so much pain I remember I couldn’t talk, my mum took the phone off me and said we need to come in my daughters pushing, the midwife said can I please hear her scream and hear how much pain she is in, by that point I was literally on the floor and I remember my waters gushing out, the midwife then said I suggest you get your daughter in the car and if she feels like pushing pull over and call for an ambulance. My mum said to my husband we aren’t going anywhere call for an ambulance ASAP.

By that point I can’t remember much I just felt like I was in a dream and I said to myself there is no going back this baby has to come at some point, my body went in too shock, I was scared, unsure, and in so much pain without pain relief, we had to wait an hour for an ambulance, my poor mum on the phone being advised what to do. It was just absolutely appalling, the paramedics where amazing, I have so much to thank them for considering my situation.

It has sadly left me not wanting anymore children, I had flash backs from my birth, I was anxious with my daughter that I kept saying to myself what have I done? I don’t know if I want this?! I pray everyday that no other women goes through what I did or my own daughter, I felt let down by the system and Midwifes, no first time mum should go through labour like that, it should be in hospital, having that anxious and feeling scared taken away from you. I don’t tell many people about my birth as I like to block it out. I just hope one day I get the chance to tell my story or even on television! Not to have a go at the hospital but for just a simple sorry. The midwife who I spoke to on the phone that night must surely think did I do my job right that night? Or it doesn’t matter because it won’t be spoken about, will it just be put down as a home birth not a unexpected one? The paramedics even said it was a cause for concern. I didn’t enjoy my pregnancy and was also upset with the after care of having a baby too, I know There are cut backs with the NHS but how many other mums have they let down?

© Make Birth Better CIC 2019

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