Even though I was successful early in life and currently have several degrees (BSN, MSN-NE, FNP,AGACNP, DNP this fall) I was considered a lost cause when I was a run away teen who became pregnant in 1994.
I was driven, but alone, and after being in a grease fire and electrocuted at 3 months pregnant I ended up with lower extremity infections where I lost most of the use of my left lower leg and had hyperemesis for the rest of the pregnancy.
I walked across my high school graduation stage nine months pregnant and then a week later went into labor with my daughter. The nurse in the delivery ward would not give me pain medication because I had no parent to okay it even though I was emancipated (I became an RN soon after and found out this was bull) and with the pain that I had no relief from, the doctor arrived and I was ready to deliver but split open requiring stitches. He was mad at the nurse for not letting him know I needed pain meds.
To this date I have not had pain meds because of the stigma that nurse placed on me. Despite being injured by military and requiring bone graft and metal placement in my back later in life.
After she was born, I was laying in the room and heard my baby cry and when I asked for the nurse to tell me what to do her answer was “well honey you better figure it out real quick because this is all you now” rather than tell me to pick up or check diaper or do the right things, she was condescending and hateful.
I had her when I was 17 and bought my first house on my own at barely 19, became a nurse with BSN at 22, and was very successful throughout my life. All of this trauma was followed by joining the army (very fast success) and then a dual certified nurse practitioner. But, I will never forget the pain that day. The shame, the physical pain, the absolutely unnecessary feelings that were invoked that day and led to my lifelong feelings of guilt and constant need to prove I was better. I have a miniature vineyard and make my own wine, I’m a major in the army, wrote a short story on kindle amazon, painted murals when younger all over my town and several now are my labels for my organic soap company while I teach Fnp courses, work in neurology, and serve in the military still. I will never forget that nurse and the one that followed her.
My episiotomy traumatic tear hurt for weeks and continues to tear every time I have intercourse with my amazing husband that I met 8 years ago. I bleed every time because of those ill-thought-out actions. Effacement came way to quick for a 112 pound 17 year old 9 month pregnant teen to handle without some help.
What would have made your birth experience better? Not being punished and having had education